Thoughts, ramblings, and rants on… well anything.


Early morning thoughts…

I am awakened by sunlight slipping through cheap curtains, in my cheap apartment, acutely aware one of my hands is still grasping my flaccid prick. Covered with dried semen, my stomach rises and falls to the rhythm of my breath, and through the haze of distorted memories of the previous night, I wonder why I still covet your love. That’s not true. I know exactly why.
Yours was a love I took for granted. Yours was a love worth fighting for. Yours was a love I let slip away, and now, selfishly I wish I could be enveloped by it once more. I was frightened by your love, now I am frightened by the love I still have for you.
And it doesn’t matter how I feel, for you have found happiness and I am grateful for that.
Am I ashamed to still love you? No. I am ashamed I didn’t love you enough, back when I should have. But that is my cross to bear, and you should keep smiling.

Let’s show them…

another night spent chasing
the white rabbit
and who even knows if the fucker is going to
come out and play
I’ve got the key to the doors
but who can tell me where she moved that
take it from me, man
what happened to all the love?
shellac spinning myself grinning
and all I really wanted was some
threes would be fine
those darn squirrels
scratching at my window


just another trip
before acknowledging my loneliness
and while I might be alone
don’t take this as a cry for help
it’ll all be okay in the morning

Voicemail and all that…

grey skies, snow drifting slowly to the ground
not quite enough to blanket the earth
but enough to remind you of winter’s
I just wanted to dance in the sunlight,
ten years after
and no one remembers my name
these restless limbs clamoring for a little
attention deficit,
speak not till after the record stops
primal urges, love like a man
I hope you’re satisfied
just wanted to spend one more day in your
imagined or not, it sure beats going it
wait, that still leaves this hole
keeps me in closer to myself
I’m going home

I’m going to take a nap…

and he just walked in, sat down, started drinking, sir
hiding again, behind words turned upside
downward a spiral staircase leads to bleeding walls
a heart beats, defeat in this instance bleating sheep the
tell me, whose really keeping score? forewarning aside
sliding down tear streaked cheeks, and you thought
me hollow, standing still shadows overtaken by
the night, light down the end of that tunnel
jungle drums, screeching beasts,
another menagerie to hideout behind below beside
blame these habits all you want
what is it you truly want?
and just like that, the thought subsides and alive she cries
overshadowed by the garbage truck driving
on by, you want a ride?
whatever happened to the teenage dream, indeed.

What else were you expecting…

lets see if we can avoid repeating
ourselves this time
shall we?
nonstop thoughts can be conquered by
a tranquil mind
your p’s and q’s a little better
you are a grown up now
after all
analog radio squeaking obscenities
piss poor notions of grandeur overshadow
the fact I have a noose around my
neck while I stroke my
just looking for that ultimate high
wrong way, better turn around hear now

My smile for you…

well that’s certainly surprising
wasn’t expecting you to just
rush up like that. hello,
either way
and let me just say it’s always a
pleasure to make your

tonight’s feature course includes the already
sounding festivities of
those lovable Californian boys,
singing… no more than that

the whole package is quite the experience
if you’d only just trust me and
take my hand already.
once more, it always seems to come back
like a repeat,
these repeat viewings are being cued up
out back, remember those rolling hills of

to the destination, and like tonight
what destination is that exactly?
exactly, as a matter of fact
levee is broke.
fix it, quick just give me a moment so I can
flip my wig.

shouldn’t have stopped to review, apologies
are weak under the circumstances just
one, so far.
so far, not quite gone, still here
we are now entertain us.
stolen symmetries, the tendency to
react now

look at how bright you might between
these sheets no more weather
broken lingo and I told you so, or
rather not. which of us is taking the lead here?
one more half. just swallow hard and enjoy.
like a gremlin. what a thought. to wit,
you knew me once.

how about that? what’s with these spaces, are they places
for hidden weight undertow, taking you all
down with me
explicitly, this distinct feeling overtaking the position
lets switch places shall we?
there now. another pawn falls
we advance.

and sometimes I just have to stop. stop. stop.
my god.
the music,
and I just wish you were here, too.
are you sleeping, brother john?

oh right. this is a race. I almost forgot about the
starting gun.
where did the hare go? such questions better left for
better men to answer. surfs up, m’boyo.
join me in the sun.

wow, man. can’t you feel that?
of course you can.
we are one.
that brief reprieve to the bathroom was
quite the experience. there we go.
hammers. knew we were missing something.
oh, right. stop for a second here.

vegetables. there isn’t really much point to
keep going, otherwise. har har.
seems legitimately hilarious. maybe not to you.
we’re almost here though. that’s what we
were doing here anyways. that’s absurd.
right. there we aren’t.

time to say good night. sleep well all you
beautiful dreamers.

Ask the radio…

just one more addiction to
bid adieu
who knew these guns
went pew-pew
sink sank sunk
junk threw up
white knuckled and


so I sit smoking a cigarette
feeling rather shit about the whole
what’s with this strange fascination
a demonstration of frustration
best intentions left
naked and alone just another
monday night spent at home
scribbling verses maybe worthless but
something I call my own.
and if my phone rang could I answer
do you care?
the best laid plans and you’re still unaware
of this feeling I wish to share.
just more words perhaps a symbol of truth
hidden where.

In a minute…

it’s a fine line between
wine and
dining in
any indication made might hold
more on this after the weather


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